Camelids Crush Cold

Jack Nicholson - 0. Llama - 1.

A severe cold snap has hit the east coast, chilling the region and leading to the death of an Allentown woman today, and an alarming rise in inter-species anger.

As human residents scramble for more layers of clothing and tanks of oil, llamas are finding themselves in a surprisingly sunny position--their thick coats, a product of evolving in bitingly cold conditions, allow them to ride the cold out in relative comfort.

"All these people need to stop whining," said Lucile Llama of Hazelton. "How do you think we like 100 degree temperatures? Think about it."

Human/llama relations are plummeting faster than high temperatures as human residents become increasingly angered by the 'haughty' attitude of their camelid neighbors.

"Just because they're cute, doesn't mean they're right!" said an angry Bloomsburg resident.

With the mercury continuing to sink across the eastern seaboard, the outcome of this fluffy angst remains to be seen.