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| "Yeah. You better watch out." |
"Hi, my name is Debbie Foley and I'm house-sitting for my brother and I've just seen a big chicken run across my yard," a frantic woman told 911 operators when she reported the rogue bird. "Oh my God, I'm afraid to take my dog out! Did anybody report it missing?"
"Actually, yes, and dozens of people reported sightings," the operator calmly responded.
Whether the emu escape was a one-off or the beginnings of a nefarious plot against America is currently under investigation. Emus can run up to 30 miles per hour, but officials are assuring the public that elite Llama Liberation Squads were mobilized at the first sign of trouble.
"We've got this covered," said President Obama. "I can't tell you where the llamas are as that would jeopardize national security, but rest assured--they're there. They're everywhere."
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