Wikileaks Bad News for Students, Camelids

"What you talkin' 'bout, Assange?! Actually, don't tell me."

The panic surrounding the latest round of leaked government documents from Julian Assange's brainchild, Wikileaks, has led to U.S. agencies warning students that reading Wikileaks could damage their future job opportunities.

"They may very well take into account your opinion, as a job candidate, whether or not you think WikiLeaks is a good thing or bad thing for the country," said Pepperdine University law professor Gregory McNeal. "It's a small issue, but one to approach with caution if I were a student seeking a job in the national security field."

The larger issue, however, is how this could potentially affect llamas. As the victims of millennia of prejudice in their native Andes, llamas worldwide fear that this could virtually eliminate their ability to move up the socioeconomic ladder.

"I never thought just reading something online could do this to me," said a worried llama who wished his name withheld for obvious reasons. "I mean, you go to school, spend years laboring as a pack animal, and this is all the thanks you get."